haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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