That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
