there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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