Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
