are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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