broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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