wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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