Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
