dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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