I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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