he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
