I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
