??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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