is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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