There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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