Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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