i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize