my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
