I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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