and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
