This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
