Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
