i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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