my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
