i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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