She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
