Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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