call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
