By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
