Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
