I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize