well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he told me I talked like a deaf person
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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