Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i believe in u and ur pee
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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