remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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