oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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