Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Someone shit on the floor
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?