My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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