i don't like sucking hair
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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