Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
