Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
