So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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