im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
