Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
