I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?