she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize