it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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