If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize