Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
