I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
