return my video game
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
