Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
