No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
