just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
