Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!