Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
