nut hugger
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
