He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize