my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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