Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize