There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize