all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
