drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
