I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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