I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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