I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
then he tried to convert me to islam
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
