I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize