so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
