Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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