smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
