Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize